It's exciting around here people!!!!

Stella just pooped in the potty! On her own! She was sitting here watching TV (what???) and just jumped up and ran in the bathroom. She came out and yelled "MAMA!! I POOPED!!!!!!"

Life doesn't get any better around here.

Isn't this how you handle your lunchmeat?

Who needs the Girl Scouts!

Dude, check it out. The hubs bought some cookies from the Dollar General the other night and exclaimed they tasted just like the famed Girl Scout Thin Mints. These are called Mint Thins. I never tasted them that night, but just now I saw 3 laying there and even though I don't know where they've been or what they've touched, I ate them. DOOOOOOD! They taste exactly like Thin Mints! So if you like Thin Mints, GET THEE TO A DOLLAR GENERAL!

Caddyshack pool scene re-enactment

That's what almost happened to us this weekend. We went to a family birthday pool party and swam almost all day. I won't say which child, but one of them got out of the pool, thought she had to pee and was horrified to realize there was um, more involved. I wasn't sure if she had made it out of the pool before the incident. So the owner of the pool said that in order to not freak out the kids that were in the pool, we just needed to casually make a walk around it to make sure there wasn't anything, erm, floating. There wasn't and all was well. We did have to throw away a bathing suit, but that's the worst part of it. The said daughter has told anyone and everyone that will listen about it so I'm guessing she isn't embarrassed about it. She has also reminded me 10 times that we need to buy her a new swimsuit.

Not in her vocabulary

My 2 yo (she'll be 3 in August) is the most disagreeable child in the whole entire universe. This week has been pure hell with her. Here are some examples of my good times: She informs me she wants to watch Kai Lan, I change the channel to Kai Lan, she then screams "NOOOOOOO!", I ask "Do you want to watch Kai Lan?", she shakes her head no, then proceeds to say again "I watch Kai Lan." Rinse and repeat about 10 times before I just turned the TV off and she screamed for 10 minutes. This morning I asked if she wanted cereal. I learned a while back to ask her first. She said no. So I then make cereal for Mia. Stella screams and wants the actual bowl of cereal I made for Mia. I go to make her a bowl. She is crying the whole time. I place the bowl on the table and say "Here is your cereal." She is on the couch, giving me the hairy eyeball, screams "NO! I don't want cereal!!!".

Help me baby Jesus. Amen.

End times?

I am on the lookout for mushroom clouds and/or huge falling asteroids today. It must be the apocalypse because I actually went to Walmart this morning with BOTH Mia and Stella. Wait for it..............of my own. free. will. I wasn't under the influence of a-cohol and no one held a gun to my head. We just literally had NO food in the house. I would rather eat scrambled eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner than take those two to the store, but we were even out of eggs! I spent $205. A lot of that was impulse buys to appease the hellions. Tried keeping the crying/screeching to a minimum. I was forced to get one of those huge ass buggies that has the seating on the front so I could tie them down...erm, I mean make sure they were safe at all times. Needless to say, when I left, I was sweating like a pig.

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